What is family?

When I was primary four, I started witnessing my parent quarreling and fights. No one could really understand me, I did not tell anyone how I felt back then. I was still a primary school student. Whenever they quarrel and fight, I would cry – I don't know what can i do. Who can I tell? My teacher? My friends? I really hope I did share with them, but it's too personal to me. Even if I had shared with my friends they are too young to tell me what to do too. Teachers? I afraid they would call my parent and ask about it, I don't want them to know how I felt.  All I could do is to pray that they would stop. It is affecting me since then. Once, I sit in the room, I asked the god in my heart, when can I have a happy family? I don't mean no fight and quarrel. I just want my parent to at least concern and know what they should to do. They are adults, why can't they put us in their first priority than quarreling/fight Infront of us? Moreover, we are their children, it is their job. 

Crying silently hoping someone could understand how you felt. You don't know how to describe. You just want to cry your heart out. 

Even up till now at the age of 15, I still see the same thing happening. I stopped them, they continued. Few days later, start again. I would help my mom and became me and my dad quarrel instead. There are so many things I wished I could share here but I couldn't. I tried to ignore, I rly tried. But failed. I want to be mean, but I am not mean enough because they are still my family, my parent. Can I just want them to care for us more? Not only our studies, our day in school, my day in shelter. I really want to have a good talk with my mom, about how happy am I whenever I do volunteer work. I really shouldn't think this way but I always tell myself " if I do good things, god would treat me better. " but god insist of giving me such a life. What could I have done in my past life or in this life as in bad things? 

All I ever ask for is to have a happy loving family.  ☹

I want others to envy me, my happy family. But, from the day they started, it is the day I started to envy people's family. My house is always noisy, why? Quarrels and fights. No jokes at all. I don't even know how to share my problems my family. To me, " what is family? "